The Truth Hurts

This morning was a wake up call and a half.  I am 66.1kg!  I have never been this heavy in my life without being pregnant.  I know, I know.... Weight isn't everything!  But that number is weighing on my brain!  I wish I didn't care so much about "the number", and the cellulite, and the way my body has "changed shape" this past year.  Oh that blasted number can get me down.  Okay, reality check.... I'm 33 years old.  I've had 3 children in 6 years.   I live 40 minutes drive from my gym.  Blah blah blah.....BUT, I used to be so on top of my body!  I remember when I only had the two kids, I found working out, and dieting so easy.

Let me let you in on a tragedy that happened some months ago.  I was diagnosed with having plantar faciitis in both of my feet.  My feet hurt so much!  No one could help me.  And my once loved training routine, slipped out of my fingertips following the pain.  My baby, Jett was about 5 months old at the time, and previously to this problem, I was on track, and loosing my baby weight.  I was down to 62kg and could even see my six pack coming back.  I felt great!  UNTIL, my feet began to ache and ache and ache!  Each week I could do less exercise than the one before and even walking around my house to look after my kids became excruiating.  After lots of money was spent on new shoes, and unsucessful treatments, the problem still wasn't fixed.  I became down on my body.  My feet had let me down.  Or so I felt.

Looking back now,  the problems with my feet started around the same time I had my first injection of the depo provera shot.  (A birth control injection given every 3 months)  The pill didn't agree with my body previously, and because I want to get pregnant again this year I opted out to use the marina this soon after having my baby.  Oh, I wish I had chosen the marina! But I just took the depo provera as the doctor said it was fine, and no different to taking the oral pill.

Since having the depo provera shot, I've had soooo many problems hormonally!  My feet became worse and my weight piled on... and in places I've never really put on weight.  I'm a butt and thighs girl, and suddenly I had blubber on my tummy and arms!  What the!!??  At the time I didn't think the depo provera was the culperit and my doctor also told me, that wasn't the case.  I recently had xrays and ultrasounds down on my feet and to my surprise, they showed no plantar faciitis and nothing "physically" wrong with my bones, muscles and ligaments. So what the hell was causing me so much pain then?????
But....
Since I haven't had the depo provera shot now in just over 3 months, I can feel a dramatic improvement in my feet!  After doing lots of googling on this birth control injection, I will NEVER take it again, nor recommend it to any female!  I think it stuffed up my hormones terribly, and since it's the only thing that is now leaving my body, and my feet are improving, it makes sense to me!  That, and also I've cut out caffeine.

I know lots of sports people rave about caffeine and the benefits, but I think it does more harm than good.  I also think it doesn't allow the body to feel tired, when it needs to rest.  Caffeine masks how the body is really feeling, and can often lead to sleep deprivation and dehydration, which puts the body under stress, which in turn produces more cortisol in the body... which leads to weight gain.  YIKES!!

Thanks to the depo provera, I also am yet to get my period back.  I really want to get pregnant this year, but I have to ovulate first!  I feel guilty about putting my body through so much stress.  Here I was thinking it was my feet letting me down.  NO, it was the crap I put in my body that stuffed up my system and left me hormonally out of sorts and in pain.

So now I'm in a place where I am stripping back all the rubbish from my body.  I want to nurture my body and allow it to recover so when I do get pregnant I am healthy and able to carry my baby full term without my feet killing me all day.  I'm taking folic acid and multi vitamins and eating a balanced diet once again.  My feet are not completely cured yet, but they have improved enormously since ceasing the depo provera and removing caffeine from my diet.

Look the doctors will tell me one thing, but I know my body, and I know the pain started and ceased with adding all the "extras" into it.  So yes,  I am pointing the finger.

That's my rant for the day! lol  I'm off to make myself a lovely chicken and salad lunch with avocado, sunflower seeds, and colourful veggies.  My advice to anyone struggling to "shift that weight" is get your hormones checked.  Hormones can play a huge contributing factor to weight gain, bloating, mood swings and your whole functioning self.  I feel so much better now that I'm doing things naturally.  I also need to be patient with myself and "that number on the scales".   I don't expect to look like a 25 year old, who hasn't had children.  But I do want to look good for me!

Thankfully I have a very loving, patient and supportive husband who loves me lumps, bumps and all.  I just need to be patient with myself and realise my body is healing.